Marriage: A communion so scared, that death is wished upon earlier before facing separation from their companions. A parent in India saves years and years before his/her child is old enough to get married. A knot tied in the presence of our beloved is said to have been decided by the Gods even before we knew. So what does a woman exactly expect when she gets married to her husband? Respect, love, dignity at the least?
As pure as this unity sounds, the darker side of this is as filthy as one can imagine. Consent is the basic right of a human in whichever choice offered is not an option when it comes to marriage, because as most people understand in this country- Marriage is a license to rape women. It is the rightful duty of a woman to please her husband at all times even when she is not willing. Coming to consent, that is probably out of the window. Something women are made to unlearn.
India is among 49 countries that have not criminalized Marital Rape along with countries like Iran, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia. It’s disappointing to see that in a country where we think we are progressing, even rape comes with conditions. One of them being that if you are raped by your husband, It’s practically not rape. Something they did not know they signed up for. Something wives did not know was a part of the marriage certificate.
There are a total of 7117 known languages in the world and “No” means the same in each of them, in every situation regardless if you are a man, woman, happily married or not. According to the testimony of a woman who survived marital rape published in dailyo.in, she faced harassment on the first night of her marriage and she was married to an IAS officer. Let that sink in. An IAS officer. One of the highest-ranked personnel in the country. So can we blame education for this? The man who is supposed to look after the reforms in the country and was sworn to make the country a better place is raping his wife.
It has and always will be how we treat our women in our homes. We foster the mentality of seeing a woman as a be creature made for the service of man follows. As long as mothers are screamed upon, daughters are constrained and wives are looked at as objects even homes with the most learned men will suffer with oppressed women.
According to Penal Act 375, forced sex is considered marital rape if the girl is below 15 years of age. Else the case has to take the route of domestic violence. There are people across the country who are not even aware of the crime itself. There are people who need to be taught the concept of consent at a young age. We need to not only make people aware of the crime but also strive to eradicate it by raising voices and standing up against any actions that are condemned against consent. The law may be lagging behind but as long as the people stress hard enough to bring the change, the law will follow.
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The brave groups of women who dare to speak up on the ground, in country after country, should not have to wage this fight in despairing and lonely isolation. They should hear the voices of scientific thunder. You understand the connections between violence against women and vulnerability to the virus. No one can challenge your understanding. Use it, I beg you, use it.
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